Just Do It

So I'm loving work so far. It's amazing, the girls are amazing, and I just love being able to do what I do!
The best part is getting to connect with people that are in my chair. I'm having intense conversations and they're fantastic!!! Today in particular was really great. Just hearing people's life stories: where they come from, who they are now, and how God is working in them and developing their story. I love all of it. So many Godly women here, who have "been there and done that" and it's great to glean from that.

Direct quote: "Summer i think you know what to do, you're just being stubborn."

Love it.
So i'm actually thinking about quitting.... hmmm. I'm just so stubborn.

I'm HOME!!!!

My picture that i have as my background couldn't fit my life better right now. I have reached a place of resting. Let me explain:

So we all know I've up and moved to Marquette, MI. I suppose I assumed I would be feeling scared, nervous, and completely out of place. It couldn't be more the opposite. God has moved me and given me a home. I feel completely at peace here. Everyone is the amazing, the community is great, and I'm moving into a house with 2 other great girls. Life is amazing right now. Saturday night was my first night at the church. I haven't been to church very often since I lost my license, so I assumed this would be refreshing at least. Refreshing? God dumped a complete waterfall on me and it just kept coming. I couldn't stop begging for more, when really I was barely handling what He was dishing out. I kept seeing a picture in my mind of a chalice and He kept pouring oil in it until it was overflowing, but the oil didn't stop coming. He kept telling me that I was home. I could rest and be at peace in Him, because I was home. It was amazing to say the least. Then Melinda came up to me and said that they as a body were so encouraged that I was there because they knew something big was happening here at this church. She said she saw a puzzle, and that I was a piece that was missing and was exactly what was needed to fit into what was happening there. That was so encouraging and exciting. Today during church was again, a complete refilling. I was actually feeling down on myself because I thought was focusing too much on my relationship with God and not enough on others. I started to pray and I couldn't help but keep being stirred to ask for more of His presence on me. I couldn't help it!!! Once you get a taste... sigh. I started laughing and crying all at the same time. It's beautiful. All that He has brought me through, and will continue to work in my life towards. It was all worth it. I'm continuing to ask Him to strip me of everything in my life. Before it was actually kind of a scary prayer to pray. I knew what I was saying, but I was still intimidated by the words. Now, having encountered my Creator and just a piece of what He has in store for me, I pray it gladly. The more He takes, the better and happy my life it. So take it all!!! And what You continue to bless me with, take it back! I can honestly say I have never been this happy or content in my life. And I'm giving Him all the praise for it!!!!! Another man at the church came up to me while I was praying and said that God has brought me into my own season, my own Summer. This is a time a resting and growing in Him. He say a tree, in full bloom. This is my season to rest, I've been pushing through and striving for Him, and He has brought me here. My own Israel. I literally can't get any happier than this!!!!!


Must finish moving into the new house... everything is just laying on the floor since I don't really have any furniture. But i would like to get my bed set up and everything before nightfall. Final interview on the Salon Salon job on Tuesday. Lord willing, I'll be working there soon!!! He just keeps providing and providing. My Jehovah Jireh. :-)

Now what?

Well I'm here. Mostly all moved in... the living arrangements haven't been decided permanently so for now I'm staying in the living room. lol. The people up here are amazing. Seriously. Just open and fun. I'm really excited to start living here. It's funny, people keep asking me: so why did you move to Marquette? In Grand Rapids I would answer something along the lines of "well i need to get away from everything, and i have to stay in-state..." but when people up here ask me why i'm super honest "God told me to. If He lets you know why I'm here, please share with me, cuz i haven't a clue." I haven't decided which is my answer when i get in job interviews, lol. I feel almost sheltered, but its relaxing. In Grand Rapids i was constantly high-strung trying to balance how much of my spiritual life i talked about and how much i kept to myself. Here, everyone just talks about it out loud. Its so natural. It's completely relaxing. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is where God wants me. And apparently, according to my aunt, God has a job already lined up for me. But here i am, sitting in bed, completely ready to go, and i'm scared out of my mind to get up and go find the job. Seriously? Grow a pair, Summer. But alas, I'm completely spineless right now. Sure, i can move 500 miles from home and not know a single soul... that easy. Finding a job, not so much. Oy veh.

I was freaked out last night. I'm sitting here, wishing all my old friends wanted to hang out with me, but they don't. Which tells me all I need to know about Grand Rapids. I'm so ready to leave. Anything that's waiting for me is better than this.

I hate to admit it, but the last time i was this scared my mom had just dropped me off at Kindergarten and i didn't know anyone.

Let Go and Let God

good lord that sounds so cheezy, but right now its soooo true. All my life i've had a very hard time with possessiveness. My things are my things. You may look but don't touch. I would freak out if someone borrowed anything of mine and I can't stand people even using my kitchen appliances. I've just always been this way. The 5 main things in my life that are MINE: my very expensive fantastic bed, my iphone, my macbook, my car, and my clothes. Typical things to value, i suppose. My problem was i didn't just value, i possessed these things. No one was allowed to touch them, borrow them, or even use them in front of me. These are mine, don't touch them. My 'problem' started when i decided to start praying for God to strip me of everything in my life until i had nothing else to hang onto except Him. (PS i wouldn't even recommend praying this unless you're ready to have your life turned upside down). Just to recap to date, as of today: I've lost my car/license, my iphone has been lost/broken 3xs now (God willing, He lets me continue to have it right now), my Macbook was broken for forever and by His grace its in decent working order right now, but i'm humbly thankful it even runs (i dumped an entire beer allllll over it), i'm leaving my bed in GR while i head to Marquette b/c i have no way to get it up there, but they have a bed for me to use (my sister will be borrowing it while i'm gone *breathe*), and i've officially cut my clothing ownership in HALF giving to my sisters and cousins what i'm not taking with me. I don't think i've thrown quite the temper tantrum to God like what i did today. I couldn't let go of all these things that mean so much to me. But when i took a step back, (and quit stomping my foot) and really asked Him: "why? Why am i acting like this? Why is this so hard for me to let go of?" He said this:

You are defining who you are by what you have around you. You are NOT what you wear. Your status to people around you isn't raised b/c you have an iphone in your hand or because you type on a macbook. You aren't defined by your independence (ability to drive around and take care of myself). You view your bed as that one piece of furniture that is "home" to you. If you have that, you feel like you're home. That isn't a part of you. Quit defining yourself by what is around you, and start letting people see what is inside. Let that outshine everything else.

It's still hard, but He is soooo right (duh). I'm letting go. I'm letting Him have everything. (well Him and everyone else around me). This stuff is replaceable. I made a list of the things i need and the things i want.....
I need: food, a place to live, money for bills, companionship, and encounter with Him.

I want: nesting in a home of my own, job in a salon, husband, warm climate, and a puppy.

There God, thats all i got. I know You are good and will supply all my needs. Thats all i can ask for. :-)

I'm being stripped of everything in my life.... its painful, and sometimes I literally feel stripped of the skin I've created over the years, but He's here and I'm loving every second of Him.

All packed and ready to go, God.

I'm reading the most fantastic book right now. "The School of the Seers" by Jonathan Welton. Reeeeeeallllly good. I highly recommend it, right after Face to Face with God by Bill Johnson. I feel like I have so much going on, when in truth I'm incredibly bored waiting on God. ha. He has decided to send me to Marquette, though, which I'm oddly excited about. I think I'm excited about all the right reasons. I get to live in a community of people who are seeking the face of God right along with me, I get to get away from here, and I get to be with my God. Downers: SNOW, ugh. They get lots of snow up there.... my name is Summer, I like my environment to reflect that. Other than that, I'm sure I'll love it. Even my probation officer is excited about me going. ;-) I'm still dying. Constantly. I know there are still things that for some reason are very difficult for me let go of and die from, but I'm acknowledging these, so thats a start, right?

2 Corinthians 4:18
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."