I'm seriously disappointed in myself. Everytime I think I'm making progress, I regress. It's so frustrating!! I don't like doing what I do. God only knows why I do it. Why do I always find myself in this spot where I'm missing how I 'used' to feel or be? It's exhausting. I'm so glad Becky is here tuis weekend. It's relaxing to not be performing for once. I wish it was a switch I could just turn off and I'd never have to act a certain way ever again but it's not. This is going to be a long road. A very long road. Please stick with me on it. I know you're probably sick and tired of my slippery sloping ways, but I'm trying. Really trying.